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I'm a backpacker, get me outta here! - Australia
by Littlebush | Date >
2006-01-17 | Country : Australia | City : Exmouth
| Area : WA |
Exmouth, WA - not much going on unless you're into diving. Well, I was travelling with 4 people in a beaten up Ford Falcom when they all decided they wanted to do a diving course. I wasn't too bothered so I just hung around each day, visiting Cape Range national park by day, (which i have to say is one of the most beautiful parts of the world I've been to), and having a few beers in the evening.
One night I went out with a few other backpackers I'd met and we got chatting to some local birds, rough as f@ck they were, but after a few more beers they started to look a little better so we took them up on their offer to go back to their place.
Turns out two of them were mother and daughter, and the other one was some ugly lookin thing who had turrets disease which was quite off putting when youre trying to have a conversation and she kept shouting out 'C@NT' all the time, but hey-ho, not her fault.
Anyway as the evening wore on, drinking at the dining table, my mate disappeared off somewhere with the turrets one, the mum went to bed, my other mate went into the kitchen and more or less climbed into their fridge to raid their food (late night munchies you see!). This left me with the daughter, who by now was looking pretty stunning.
Cut a long story short, we went up to her room, and I banged the arse off it.
Next thing I know I wake up and theres a tapping at my leg, its daylight outside, daughter has gone from next to me, only to be replaced by a 18 month old kid...................with my used jonny hanging from its mouth! oh my god! suddenly the 5 year old daughter(thats the daughter of the daughter - i didnt go home with a 5 year old, im not gary glitter!) comes into the room, and says to me 'hello, are you our new daddy' - oh jesus, get me outta here.
Daughter finally comes into the room with kiddie number 3 in her arms and tells me she needs a hand walking them to school which for some stupid dumbarse reason I agreed to.
So there I am hungover as hell, holding my new 'step daughters' hand as I walk her to school. As we approach the school I can see the other parents peering at me as if to say 'oh look, its a different one this week'.
After saying my good byes to the daughter(thats the 5 year old one), I made my excuses to mother daughter(if that makes sense) and headed back to my hostel, about a mile away.
Rather pleased with myself I'd gotten a shag and a half decent story, it all suddenly went to pot, as I thought I'd let a fart go that I'd been brewing all morning (I was trying to be polite in front of so many kids), but it all went horribly wrong and I followed through.
I then had to walk the rest of the journey in the searing 30 degree heat back to my hostel with a huge log in my pants.
I eventually got back and found my other 2 mates grinning, one had buggered off home after eating their fridge empty, the other had gone back the ugly birds house and been rooting her all night, until she turned to him at 5.30am and said 'you'd best off soon love, my husband will be back from his night shift at 6am', hence to say he was back at the hostel by 5.35am - but surprisngly he hadnt shit his pants! |
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